How to write a GREAT groom’s speech

How to write a groom’s speech? As you can imagine, all wedding photographers hear many a speech delivered from the top table. I am no exception. Over the years I have listened to some brilliant bestman speeches, father-of-the-bride speeches and then there were those guys who really had the knack of delivering a knockout groom’s speech. You never quite know what is coming when one of the bridal party picks up the mic. but I have heard a groom’s speech so hilarious, I had difficulty holding my camera still!

The groom’s speech can be tricky to write. Traditionally, he has a number of people to thank. He also must remember to toast the bridesmaids and can feel anxious as he knows everyone’s waiting for the best man’s speech which will follow his. This will be packed full of jokes and good old fashioned banter – usually at the groom’s expense!  Nevertheless, there is no reason the groom’s speech can’t go down a storm.

Thanking wedding guests during the groom’s speech

If you are starting to think about your groom’s speech then the following may help. Thanking those present who were responsible for where you are today, is a must. That doesn’t mean you need to sound as though you have just accepted an Oscar!

A good groom’s speech is one which gets the balance just right. It will contain humour but not too crude; be reflective (usually emotive) and with a touch of humility; contain gentle banter without insulting the new mother-in-law!

The humorous groom’s speech

When you are deliberating on how to write a groom’s speech, don’t let your best man have all the glory, it’s okay to throw in a few jokes of your own. Below, are some which may help. Just remember, you are not doing Saturday Night at The Apollo (so don’t wait for any applause!) and deliver the funny lines in your own style.

A glass of champagne before you get to your feet my help too but you will enjoy it far more after a well-delivered speech, as our groom pictured below did, at the Bay Tree Hotel in Burford, Oxfordshire

Funny lines for a groom’s speech

You may want to consider these opening lines to get your groom’s speech off on the right note…

“The last time I addressed a room full of people like this, I was in court.”

“Without all of you here today, it wouldn’t be the same … but it would be cheaper.”

“Distinguished guests, guests of no particular distinction, relatives young and old, friends, freeloaders, hangers on, and anyone else who may have wandered in. You are all about to witness a unique event in history – the very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. However, it is a privilege and an honour to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don’t her down”.

“Friends and Family. I had prepared a superb speech for you today, but unfortunately, now that I am married, I’ve been told to read this one instead.”

“My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention! To be honest I didn’t really know where to start so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I‘d found some really, really good stuff. But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech”

“ Today, I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. My wife and I will be forever in their debt.”

About your bride…

 “My wife says I never listen… or something like that.”

“I’ve married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.”

“ It probably comes as no surprise to many of you that my wife and I don’t always see eye-to-eye when it comes to my golf.  I must confess I did actually think about giving it up. During one lesson with the local pro I asked him whether he had seen any improvement since my last lesson. His reply, ‘er… well, that’s a much better haircut’. “

“When it comes to talking about my bride’s good points, where do I start? She’s intelligent, generous, hardworking, popular and a brilliant judge of character.”

 “Darling, you are an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I promise you I won’t rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.”

About your best man…

“I’d like to say the bridesmaids look like a million dollars today. The best man and grooms, on the other hand, look like they were won in a raffle.”

“I can imagine that John, my best man, is getting impatient to make his speech soon. Now many people don’t know that John suffers from a rare medical condition which causes him to invent fanciful stories. He really does believe these stories to be true and I thank you in advance for humouring him during his speech”

Happy wedding guests listen to the groom’s speech

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

However your groom’s speech is received, try and end leaving your friends and loved ones with a happy, uplifting feeling. No doubt, during those reflective parts of your speech, you may have brought a tear to the eye of those listening. So there is no better way of ending a groom’s speech than by saying a few warm, loving words about your new wife. It has to be from the heart, preferably not written down, and in your own words! Good luck.

• 

• 

• 

On a final note, should the Father of the Bride need a little help with speech writing, then this article may give him some inspiration!